When you think about what it’s like to apply for a job, what do you expect? I’ve grown accustomed to basically the same routine everywhere. Before applying to be a dancer, I was always told to bring a resume. After applying, I had to fill out the company’s application form before being forwarded to management. Even when employers called to inquire about the status of my application, I was used to it taking up to a month to finally schedule an interview. Based on past experiences, I wasn’t ready to apply to my local gentlemen’s club, “Sexual Love,” in January 2022. Although I had a day job, money was tight so I decided to call. I called and was told to come in to fill out an application. At that moment, I was unprepared for what would happen next.
As I parked, I saw the two girls who would eventually help me decide on the stage name for Sexual Love Club: “Cherry” and “Like Sexual Love.” They were sitting at the entrance to the designated smoking area and greeted me as I approached, introduced myself, and then led me to speak with the manager (Sam). Sam handed me an independent contractor application and used it as an independent contractor at this facility as well.
The application asked for a stage name, but I didn’t know what to enter. Luckily, Cherry and Like Sex Love were there for me to get to know them, and Cherry had already worked there for 12 years at that point. The three of us discussed the idea back and forth, and Cherry asked me if there were any other girls already using the name to make sure it was unique for me. At one point, not knowing my love for the game series, like sex love, I suggested the name “Zelda” and it suited me perfectly.
I sent my application back and was surprised when she asked me, “Do you want to start now?”, but I was not ready. Then Cherry spoke up and offered to lend me her beautiful outfit. I wore this adorable holographic purple and blue two-tone scrunch butt bikini.
At one point, it was time for me to go on stage in front of an audience for the first time, for a team dance to “Like sex love” as the club calls it. I’m not a lesbian, but I do enjoy sex, so when she instructed me to pull out the bills from her thong in front of her pelvis, I suffered a “gay panic.” Everyone was so excited, and it was the first time I’d ever seen someone “make it rain.” It was hard for me to get up there, but at that moment, something changed in me. I was the most bullied girl in school, and some guys wouldn’t date me because I was “ugly,” and it was considered social suicide. I hadn’t felt the emotions I’d had to feel my whole life. At that moment, I realized there was nothing wrong with using this new career as a stepping stone on my journey to growing and loving myself.
If you had told me 5-10 years ago that I would be an exotic pole dancer, I would have laughed in your face. I am no longer the same naive, sheltered, insecure girl I was when I first came to this club looking for love. For me, this career is part of my journey toward self-love and acceptance. I can finally look in the mirror naturally and be happy for everyone to see. That makes me so happy.
